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| if one day u feel like crying.... call me. I dont promise that i will
make u laugh, but i can cry with u. If one day u want to run away--
dont be afraid to call me. I dont promise to ask u to stop......but i
can run with u. If one day u dont want to listen to anyone.....call me.
I promise to be there for u but also promise to remain quiet. But one
day if u call......and there is no anwser.....come fast to see me.
Perhaps i need you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often
you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it
to you. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new
friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend
ilu
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| soo freshman year is over.. and i have been home for 2 weeks and i have yet to call anyone or hang out with anyone... hopefully once everyone is done school and my work schedule dies down i will be able to hang out with my friends. i dont know how i feel about this summer. it has the potential to be either really awesome or really crummy. but i am going to enjoy my time home and relax and have fun. i have changed a whole lot this year and i kinda have to figure out who i am and how i fit into everything and everyone that was a part of my life last year. its weird that i have grown into this whole new person that no one really knows anymore. i dont know how to put myself back into the life i was used to. its a really weird adjustment. its going to make for an interesting 3 monthes.
"See, if you put a musician in a place where he has to do something different from what he does all the time, then he can do that - but he's got to think differently in order to do it. He has to use his imagination, be more creative, more innovative; he's got to take more risks. He's got to play above what he knows - far above it - and what that might lead to might take him above the place where he's been playing all along, to the new place where he finds himself right now - and to the next place he's going and even above that! So then he'll be freer, will expect things differently, will anticipate and know something different is coming down. I've always told the musicians in my band to play what they know, and then play above that. Because anything can happen, and that's where great art and music happens." - Miles Davis | | |
| some things i have learned this weekend:
1. don't walk alone at night
2. don't talk to strangers
3. we aren't as invincible as we think we are. to some degree everyone
knows that bad stuff can happen, but we still act like nothing can hurt
us.
4. no one is as tough as they think they are.
5. don't have to much pride. let insults slide, and don't get defensive at every mean remark thrown your way.
6. you can tell someone loves you when they listen to you cry and talk
about your problems when they could be doing something much more fun.
last night there were a bunch of townies making fun of a few guys in my
building. so they decided to fight these huge
balck guys. a bunch of other guys from my building were across the
street at a party and came over to help them out, and one of my bedt
friends here, matt baffa, got jumped. all the guys ended up in the
hospital. the only people in my building last night that were not at
the hospital were here worrying and getting fired up. matt is the
nicest kid in the world, and because of these guys he had to have his
head stapled shut. this hall is like a family. we are all so upset
about matt... all the other guys were released last night, and now matt
is home and hes going to be fine eventually, but i have a knot in my
stomach that wont go away. and all of the guys are pissed and they keep
saying they are gonna kill these guys and "bury them in their
backyard". but if they all got so messed up last night... i dont want
them to get hurt again. but if anyone in this building gets hurt...
especially matt... they are gonna get killed. i dunno... i dont want
the boys to fight.  i dont
really know what to do with my self. everyone please keep matt in your
prayers....
and baby thanks for listening to me...
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| i dont know what to do with myself right now...
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A year has past and now we stand on the brink
of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything
yet nothing being the same. In a few weeks we will reluctantly give our hugs
and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to the people who were once just names
on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to
say goodbye to before we ever left. We will leave our best friends to return
to our best friends. We will go back to places we came from and go back to
the same things we did last summer and every summer before. We will come
into town on that same familiar road, and even thought it has been months,
it will seem like only yesterday.
As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as
you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become.
You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year
ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest
now, no one at home will completely understand. Who will you call first?
Where are you going to work? Who will be at the party Saturday night? What
has everyone been up to? Who from school will you keep in touch with? How
long before you actually start missing people bargaining in without calling
or knocking? Who will get breadsticks with you at three in the morning? How
long until you adjust to sleeping in a room by yourself, or how long before
you realize your three best friends aren't in the bed next to your room?
Then you realize how much things have changed, you realize the hardest part
of college is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in,
trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure
out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's traveling
time, we will leave our world of living next door to our best friends,
walking across campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:00 classes, and perpetual
procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact
that we have lived in it for nineteen years.
But it is different now... We now know the meaning of true friendship. We
know whom we have kept in touch with over the past year and whom we hold
dearest to our hearts. We've left our high school worlds to deal with the
real world. We have had our hearts broken, we've fell in love, we've helped
our best friends through the toughest times of their lives, something their
even best friends at home couldn't be there for. We've stayed up all night
just to be there for a friend. We've partied the night away, doing stupid
stuff, but we were always there for each other afterwards. There have been
times when we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know
our families or friends needed us most, and there are times when we know we
have made a difference.
A few weeks from now we will leave. A few weeks from now we take down our
pictures, and pack up our clothes. No more going next door to do nothing for
hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random emails and phone calls
will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will take our memories
and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this
world.
A few weeks from now from now we will arrive. A few weeks from now from now
we will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive
over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end. We will
return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought
us laughter and tears over the past year. We will unpack old memories and
dreams that have been put away for the past year.
A few weeks from now we will dig deep inside to find the strength and
conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close. And somehow,
in someway, we will find our place between these two worlds.
In a few weeks....
(Yeah so, I did borrow it
from someone else, but it is what it is all about) | | |
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